Online:Threat of the Baandari Pedlars

This week, O faithful ones, my sermon is not a homily or a parable, but a warning: a warning to all true Redguards to beware the wiles of the devilish cat-people, those thieves and heretics who infest the fields outside our gates and call themselves Baandari Pedlars.

Long have we known that these itinerant beast-people use the mask of merchant to hide their true trades of theft, fraud, and chicanery. Why, then, do the magistrates continue to allow them to set up camp before the gates of our towns? Why are they not driven from our lands and never allowed to return?

Clearly other powers are at work here, infidel powers of sacrilege and evil. How else to explain the folly of those who patronize these creatures, and the blindness of those in authority who tolerate their open pandering and vice?

"But how do you know this, O Zuladr?" you may ask. "How has this truth been revealed unto you?"

And I ask you: what do we say when someone sneezes? We say, "Tu'whacca bless you"—do we not? And why do we say this? Because, as the ancient writings tell us, a sneeze is a sign of the presence of an evil spirit.

And what happens to many of the faithful, myself very much included, when in the presence of one of these cat-people? We sneeze. We sneeze, our very eyes water, and we sneeze again.

Heed, I say hearken to the warning of Tu'whacca. These Baandari are evil spirits incarnate. Abjure their company, avoid their camp, suffer not their tainted wares to be brought into your abode.